To much a man come to be a relationship with me. But semua gada yg bertahan lama. Two or three days so care and then they are gone. I'm not angry but everyman must know. Gada satupun orang yang gampang jalin hubungan dengan hitungan bulan apalagi hari, Bahkan beberapa harus melewati beberapa tahun.
Beberapa tahun lalu, i fight for have a romance story in my life. He want to be mine but just one day and after that he is lost. I don't know what happen with me till he go away so far and never comeback. Yang gue tau. Gue terus minta dia buat terus di sisi gue. Gue memohon. Gue mengemis untuk dia ada dan ga pergi. But he is still gone. I lost him. And my heart is broken. Pelajaran penting adalah berharap banyak its mean to much disappointed. And from that i don't wanna do this anymore. Gue ga akan meminta dia untuk bertahan. Fight together for us. I'm not lyke that again.
Until three years ago my ex comeback. He always fight for me. Everyday he always care to me. Never stop until now. Even gue selalu bilang buat ga ganggu. Gue marahin dia. Jutekin dia. Bikin dia kesel. Bahkan beberapa kali ngancem buat blokir dia. Dan akhirnya, pertahanan gue runtuh. Gue kalah. I'm fallin' love again with him. Like past. Because he is survive. He never give up. He always there for help me anything he does. I'm come to his city. We talk. We walk. We laugh. We sharing but i know i'm wrong. He has a partner and if im survive with my feeling i know i can got him but i'll be destroyed their relationship. I cant to be a third person. Its a mistakes. And i never do that.
And i find myself broken again. And again. Gue udah gabisa menjalin hubungan dalam waktu dekat. Gue ngerasa runtuh dan perlu waktu buat buka hati lagi. Dan yang bisa jatuh cinta dengan cepat. Butuh waktu untuk percaya bahwa kelak hati ga lebih hancur dari ini. Atau barangkali merapikan yang berantakan, biar nanti yang masuk bisa lebih Damai. When u feel hurts and u think someone can erase that to u, its a bigwrong. Lo cuma jadiin dia pelampiasan. Karna ketika hati lo patah atau merasa kecewa sama sesuatu, yang lo butuh bukan orang lain. Tapi lo butuh nenangin diri. Berdamai sama diri sendiri dan memaafkan keadaan. Pelampiasan lo akan ada hanya untuk sesaat sampai lo sembuh dan liat bakal anggep dia pengganggu. Dan itu sama aja lo nyakitin hatinya. U know? Orang orang yang benar* merasakan sakit, tidak akan membuat orang lain sakit. Bcs its so bad. I know that feel and i don't want anyone else feel lyke what i feel.
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar